Casino Jokes are a Great way to Relax Before or After the Casino.

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Here is a list of jokes I know will make you laugh out loud, I hope you enjoy them as much as I have.


Casino Las Vegas
Vegas Red Casino
7 Sultans Casino
Swiss Casino

Good for a Laugh.

Two midgets on a bender in Vegas hire two hookers and take 'em out for a night on the town. After cocktails and gambling, they all head back to their hotel room at the MGM Grand Casino.

However, the night doesn't quite turn out as planned. Since he's had too much to drink at the Casino, one of the midgets can't get it up at all, and, to make matters worse, he has to listen to the other one say "1, 2, 3, huh," over and over again, all night. The next morning, the first midget is complaining.

"Man, did that suck. I was soft all night." "You think that's bad," said the other midget. "I couldn't even get onto the bed."

Gambler Boy

"I want you to help me stop my son gambling." an anxious father said to his boy's principal. "I don't know where he gets it from, but it's bet, bet, bet."

"Leave it to me," said the principal.

A week later he phoned the boy's father. " I think I've cured him of gambling," he said.

"How?"

"Well, I saw him looking at my beard and he said," I bet that's a false beard, " How much? I said, and he said $5'

'What happened?" asked the father.

"Well he tugged my beard which is quite natural and I made him give me $5. I'm sure that'll teach him not to Gamble!"

'No, it won't," said the father. "

He bet me $10 on Monday that he'd pull your beard with your permission by the end of the week!"

10 Signs You Are Obsessed With Online Gambling
  1. You go to a hockey game and wonder what happened to the dealers and boxman.
  2. . When an ambulance passes with flashing lights, you assume someone hit a "hand pay."
  3. When your kid says math "came easy" today, you ask if it was a 4,6,8 or 10.
  4. You go into a shoe store and ask if they have 4, 6, or 8 deck.
  5. When your English professor says the author made his point; you ask if he pressed or not.
  6. You hear the bible story where Lazarus is told to "Come out", and you ask for a 2-way C & E.
  7. You show up early at the bakery to take advantage of the hot rolls.
  8. You wonder if a salad shooter is really a gambling device.
  9. When the bartender asks if you want a "double", you say not against an ace. You go into a 7-11 and ask to play the "don't."

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